Soon it will be my forth month of
being unemployed and jobless. While most of my friends are now either climbing
the corporate ladder or living up their dream of becoming a practitioner, I, on
the other hand, am very comfortable staying at home.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not fully
unemployed. I have my own baking business but as everyone keeps saying now is
not the time to own a business as the economy is going south. I just started
and the business, though it’s slow but it’s growing and profitable. I’m planning
to devote my time fully into the business but not so soon. I have other plans.
I have a plan to work my ass off until I have enough savings to open up my
dream café.
It is October now. Soon it will
be November. At this point in time, the total number I was called for a job
interview was three and people may say that I’m not trying hard enough. It’s
true. I’m not trying hard enough because well… this may sound like I’m
convincing myself that I’m happy while being jobless but I’m truly happy. It’s
true that I’m not living my dream but I’m truly happy. Who doesn’t like to stay at home doing nothing?
I do. Maybe the facts that I’m comfortable at home, no pressure from parents, no
student debt and money is not tight making me all lazy. I admit I’ve been
procrastinating a lot from sending out resume or even updating it. To be honest
I’m not ready to bear all the responsibilities like a matured adult would once
I started working. I’m a coward like that.
“I’m happy but I know my
happiness wouldn’t make my parents proud.”
That’s what I’ve been thinking
once in a while and usually it popped up in mind after I finished running
errands for my parents. I thought I was doing them a favour. But I know even that’s not enough to make them proud
and happy. I could feel their pride and joy on my graduation day and even more
on the day I was admitted and called to the Bar. Often, I heard their pride in
their answer whenever relatives asked them what I was studying for in college. However
lately no hint of joy nor pride was heard whenever someone asked them where I
was working right now. Nothing to celebrate when someone is becoming a
disappointment.
This month, my father was
admitted twice for heart attacks. My uncle was also admitted for lung disease.
Since the hospital my uncle was sent to was near my house, my auntie stayed
with us. It was me who had to send and fetch both my mother and my auntie back
and forth from the hospital. Early in the morning, late in the evening, you
name it. All this happened in a span of three weeks! While my mother resumed her
role as a devoted wife tending my father at the hospital, I had to take over the
role of a house wife such as cooking (me, cooking? urgh), going for grocery
shopping, bank visits, car service etc. It’s stressful but I was glad I was at
home when they needed someone. My parents might not realise it, but I was
grateful He gave me the chance being a good daughter for them. All the time I
questioned why I was still jobless and now I had the answer.
