I'm 25 but you cannot call me Kak or Aunty
Sunday, June 11, 2017
Today, I am 25 years and 1 week old.
In my family, birthday is not
something we celebrate. That’s why it’s not really a surprise I forgot that last Sunday was my birthday, really. Though I forgot that it’s my birthday, I did something
out of the ordinary on that day.
I only slept for a couple of hours the night before which
was not unusual for me but the fact that I did not sleep after my Fajr prayer was
something I rarely did. Since it’s Ramadhan, I wouldn't want to miss sleeping
after Fajr but last Sunday, I suddenly felt so energized and started doing
laundry early in the morning. So not me.
It was until my parents wished me a happy birthday that I
remember, I had lived my life for two and a half decades. What a journey, really.
Looking back, there were so many
things I’ve achieved and yet there are still so many things I have yet to
achieve. I'm working to achieve everything in my list before I turn 30, more importantly before I finally rest in peace. I feel content with everything I have today.
Being 25, I don't feel young anymore and I don't feel old either. It's such a mixed feelings because now you have so many people who are entitled to call you "Kak" and even kids can call you "Aunty" (please don't).
Last year, I remember my goal was to further my studies somewhere in UK. I did applied and received the offer. When university's information booklet came to my house, I cried hugging it knowing I wouldn't be able to go because of my financial situation. Somewhere deep in my heart, I blamed fate for my humble background. I thought if I was born into privilege, I would never had to worry about continue my studies in the UK. I forgot that if my parents were well off, I may not be this content.
I feel sorry for my parents. They worked hard for more than 25 years to feed their kids. I'm still trying to convince myself that something good will come out of it. Maybe it's best for me to build a career and climb the corporate ladder first then only continue with studies when my financial is more stable. I hope I can cross "attain a master's degree" off my list before I turn 30. Amen.
25, I hope I will be extra extra wiser.
25, I hope I will be extra extra wiser.
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